Today I’m trying to grow up as a writer.
Some posts are written from exploration and determination, not successful execution of the topic at hand. This is one of those posts. I haven’t arrived. I’m learning. Processing. Growing up.
Today I must write even though every emotion rejects the thought. I must meet my deadline and do my job. Yes, it’s easier to be creative on a day with little stress, grief, or pain. The push of the outside world on the interior self must be overcome to write deep–and, yes, that is difficult on days like today. But if I’m to follow what I believe God’s call on my life, I must do it. I must sit here and put my fingers to the keys and breathe.
I must produce.
So how to do it? The chocolate and coffee I’ve consumed haven’t solved the problem. The morning’s devotion which told me to say, “I trust you, Jesus” when adversity comes helped a little. It refocused the mind, even if it didn’t stop up the tears. Then what? So far I’ve cried a little, prayed some, sought to fill my mind with God’s promises and reminded myself of His love. I’ve emailed my friends who’ve done the same. I’ve put off creativity and entering into the deep places by doing a bunch of mindless stuff related to the business of the job.
But as I process I know what is next. I must dive into His heart, ask Him to show me what He has to say, and I must say it as well as I can, with all the creativity He promises me. (A bad day or good makes no difference to Him. He works in them all.)
And it doesn’t hurt to tell the whole world–or at least those who read my blog–what I am doing. There’s accountability in proclaiming publicly that you WILL be responsible, you WILL cling to Your Lord, you WILL believe HE gives you all you need for what you’re doing.
And so I will, my friends. I will let God help me be a grown-up writer today. I will meet that deadline.
Prayers appreciated.
