Paula Moldenhauer
Interview with Janey DeMeo, author of Heaven Help Me Raise these Children

Thanks, Janey, for giving your time to be interviewed here at GraceReign. I recently began reading your parenting study, Heaven Help Me Raise These Children. Two things that impressed me right away were your focus on helping mom turn from guilt to reliance on Christ and the fact that you didn’t give a five-step program that guarantees success.

The reason I think these two concepts are so important is that every family is being shaped by God for His purposes. No two families are alike just as no two children are alike. Sure, there are foundational principles that are good for all parents to think about, but when it comes to parenting, only the Lord knows what each child needs and when they need it.

Also, I’ve done more than my share of playing the guilt game when I’ve messed up in my parenting. The fact is, the more I felt guilty, the more I messed up. When I learned to give my imperfections to God and let myself off the hook, I became a better parent. My focus was on Christ instead of me.

Can you share why you included these two elements in your book?

I think you expressed it well Paula, even though you were speaking for yourself. I think all parents fall short as parents just as we do as people. It’s the human dilemma, the OSN (old sin nature). And although we should do all we can to be the best parents possibly—and biblically—we need to know how to shake off failure and use it to become better parents by teaching our children that since we need God so much, they do also. Guilt becomes your best friend when you embrace it biblically. And it can help our children to grow in their relationship with God if we’re humble enough to accept our wrongs before them and bring them into our transition into grace.

Prayer and spiritual warfare are also prevalent themes. Why do you think these are important? How do they affect parenting?

One cannot hope to parent a child effectively without prayer. I believe that parenting is the highest calling there is, and that Satan hates children. It makes sense then that he attacks families—especially Christian families who aim at raising their children for Jesus. Spiritual warfare is very real and it one of the ways to combat it is through prayer. Chapter 19 of my book deals with prayer, including teaching our children to pray.

I’ve included a Pray 10 chart which adapts to different age-groups. (The book also includes a 12-week plan of how to teach the Bible to children, which also adapts to different ages). It brings out how to pray, what to pray, how to teach our children to pray and what they can learn to pray, and much more. But as far as spiritual warfare goes, chapter 18 addresses that issue and goes into many more combat tools other than prayer. Ephesians 6 tells us to prepare for battle wearing the necessary armor. Then we need to learn how to use that armor. That is the purpose of that particular chapter.

You and your husband served as missionaries in France for over 20 years and you spent a lot of time teaching and mentoring women as you raised your children. From your experience as a mom and as a teacher of mothers, what do you think are the biggest issues in mothering today?

Great question, Paula. I think some of the issues we face today are timeless such as the need to be loved, security, personal identity, ethics, disobedience, rebellion, education etc. However, some of these issues have taken a different slant in this era because of rampant technological advancements and what not. Perhaps some of the biggest issues mothers face today include the difficulties of juggling job and home, the challenge of teaching our children truth when they have more access to “other voices” than they have ever had, and the challenge of walking in the truth as a parent when compromise has invaded our culture. Hopefully, my book brings a biblical response as to how to cope with such onslaughts.

I’m assuming you wrote Heaven Help Me Raise These Children in part to address these needs. Your book is more of a study guide/workbook, than a typical parenting book. I’ve been going through it on my own, but it would be good material for a Sunday school class or small group. Could you describe how the book is organized and recommend how to use it for both personal and group study?

The book was originally written as a 22 chapter complete book—no study guide components. It was published in French in French by Vida (then under Zondervan). My publisher here in America wanted me to add the workbook components so I did. But the book can still be read as a book without even referring to the study guide parts at all. The book part begins mid-way into the book and the chapters are called “Reading Selections.” However, for someone wanting to do the study guide part, they begin at the beginning, and read the recommended reading chapters as homework. It is designed to take 12 weeks and can be used in a small group setting or individually.

A few years ago, I interviewed you about helping our children identify with those who suffer. The article was printed on Crosswalk.com’s family channel as well as in other venues. I know that reaching out to those who are underprivileged is a huge part of your heart, and your ministry. Why do you include this ideal as part of your teaching on parenting?

OK, did you bring your Kleenex box? The fact is, the world is filled with suffering children of every kind. They are in our towns, and overseas. They may live next door or be in our children’s schools or clubs. We see them on TV and in the streets. They are everywhere—if our eyes are open. I believe that we have no right to close our eyes on suffering—especially the suffering of those too small to defend themselves. This is a biblical principle not just a humane one. As Christians we are called to be salt and therefore to help the hurting. As Christian parents, we’re called to raise our children to know God’s heart and embrace His burdens/purposes, making them their own. It’s that simple. Thank you for asking that question, Paula.

What kinds of things can a parent do to help a child learn compassion for others?

Teach them about hurting people, show them pictures, bring them to homeless shelters or orphanages (if possible) or overseas. Get books from the library showing about how terrible it is to be poor. Show them websites with pictures of hurting children and have them pray for those children. Orphans First is a good place to start. Orphans First also has this site. (This is a my space site so be wise because there’s sometimes garbage that pops up there.)

Please tell us about your ministry, Orphans First.

You didn’t put the Kleenex box away did you? Well, let’s see…Orphans First is a non-profit ministry helping suffering children all around the world in diverse manners. We have several orphanages and outreaches to street children as well as helping a little deaf girl in Thailand. (Mink’s deafness made her more vulnerable to exploitation, even sex-traffic, but now she attends a special deaf school thanks to sponsors and her future is hopeful). My largest orphanage in India has 110 children. Their lives have been rescued from poverty—and Hindism since we teach the Bible. They are being loved and receiving a good education. We also help with a feeding program in Haiti, and have helped a little with adoptions. We are presently trying to begin an orphanage in Benin, Africa where we already work with about 45 poor children in Cotonou. One of the first children we’ll put in that orphanage is an AIDS orphan. And we’re praying to be able to rent some kind of home for the street children (of gypsy ethnicity) in Moscow—especially because the winters are so very cold.

You are a firm believer in prayer and send out periodic prayer requests for the ministry issues of Orphan’s First as well as for specific children. How can people get involved with your prayer ministry?

Orphans First has a prayer chain and folks must subscribe voluntarily from their own email addresses in order to receive prayer requests. I send requests about weekly and we pray for specific children, in many countries, and general situations as well.

The best way to be involved is to become a prayer partner by subscribing.

To receive the prayer requests go online here. Scroll down to NORMAL SUBSCRIBE from your e-mail address where you want the requests sent. The server will then send you an e-mail with a link for you to copy and paste into your browser to CONFIRM that you want to subscribe to the O.F. Prayer Chain. Unless there’s a glitch in the system, you will them automatically receive the Orphans First Prayer Requests when they are sent out — about once a week.

Janey, I so appreciate your heart for Jesus, moms, and the children. Thanks for taking the time to share with us at GraceReign. May God continue to empower you to be his loving arms to the children he places in your care.

Thank you so much for this interview, Paula. I wish you well in all your endeavors as a mother, a wife and a writer.

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