This morning I joined a club I’ve heard about but didn’t truly understand. I stood in the driveway with my hubby and three of our four children waving at the handsome young man in the little red car that disappeared all too quickly.
Now I stand shoulder to shoulder with all you moms and dads out there who know the joy and pain of this club. The pride in knowing your child is no longer a child–and the pain in knowing your child is no longer a child. He’s ready. You’re excited for his future. But life will never again be quite the same. He’s climbing new mountains, seeing new vistas. His fit person is ready for the challenge! (Neat how I connected this idea to one of my favorite pictures taken this week when Seth and a friend climbed a fourteener, huh?)
But life will never again be quite the same.
It’s a good thing. Really. I tell myself this often. The decision for my son to pursue his hockey dreams out of state has been bathed in prayer. Financial obstacles fell into place even after we thought it wasn’t going to happen. It’s miraculous to think this time last year he was in the middle of ten months of rehab after back-to-back hip surgeries, and now he’s playing high level competitive hockey. Get the party hats! Blow up the balloons! Time to celebrate.
And I’m happy for him. Really. Only I have, of course, had several moments when I needed to sneak away for a bit of a cry. And, periodically I find various household members doing the same. Sarah and I started our teary process early, before Seth even left. The guys had their moment after he drove away. And I know these moments will keep coming.
I actually held it together pretty well today. Then it was time for the evening meal. One of the kitchen chairs was in a different room. As I set the table I realized we didn’t need that chair. And I burst into tears. Again.
My friends tell me it will happen often for the next few weeks. One friend told me she cried for three months straight when her son left for college. I’m hoping my grieving period will be a little less intense, but we’ll see.
But God is careful to care for my heart. After Seth drove away this morning, I picked up my trusty little devotion book, Jesus Calling, opened to August 23rd, and read, “Entrust your loved ones to Me; release them into my protective care.”
After I read this first line I called my hubby and the younger boys into the room. “You gotta hear this,” I said. We gathered around and read through the devotion together. After admonition about letting go so both parent and child could be free and instruction to avoid making idols of our children, it ended with, “As you entrust others into My care, I am free to shower blessings on them. My presence will go with them wherever they go . . . .Watch to see what I will do.”
I’ve been reading this little book for months. This is the only time I remember anything relating to parenting or children! And it came TODAY.
WOW! Thank you, Father!
So, to all you dear ones who’ve texted or facebooked or emailed to ask how I am . . . I’m fine. Really.
Just leave all the chairs where they belong, will you?
(PS Read a great post about what NOT to say to new members of the “Parents of a First Child to Leave Home” club: check it out here.)