So, I think I’ve finally arrived. Do you get to be a full-fledged grown-up at forty? In celebration of this milestone I cut my hair, bought a new blouse, and had a party last night with some friends. Then, today, my actual birthday, my family cuddled up together, had Chinese take-out, and watched a funny movie. Contentment surrounds me like a down comforter.

My birthday party was unique. My sweet husband took my three boys out for the night so that we could have girl world in our usually male-dominated home. Everyone was told to bring a snack, a memory, and a prayer instead of a gift. I didn’t want it to be expensive or stressful, I just wanted to be together. Well, one of my friends decided it just wasn’t a birthday without a cake and she and her daughter, an award winning cake decorator at age sixteen, made an amazing, beautiful cake.

My daughter decided you couldn’t have a party without decorations and she kicked me out of the house for the afternoon while she and the cake decorating friend hung streamers and signs and balloons. My daughter is very clever, she also hung a lavender tablecloth, which she decorated with birthday wishes, in front of our homeschool clutter and the wall without wall-paper so that livingroom I wrote about last week looked almost magical–and, by the way, the amoeba was full of guests all night. That crazy beanbag continues to be a favorite. My daughter designed the theme, “Over the Rainbow.” She had a CD of the song playing and my cake was actually two cakes connected by a rainbow. Her thought behind the theme was instead of an “Over the Hill” motif, I could be excited about climbing over the rainbow into God’s special promises.

My two sister-in-laws (who live locally) led the evening, making me feel safe and cared for. My friends said beautiful, life-giving words to me and prayed for me. I was shown so much love that I really can’t take it in. I don’t know how to process it. I told my friends I just wanted to be with them, share good memories, and be prayed for and, oh my, did they rise to the occassion. I didn’t know how to receive all that amazing love. We laughed and cried and basically had an estrogen fest. My friend who has only boys said it freaked her out a bit. LOL. It’s how life should be. It was a taste of true community.

This morning I told a friend of mine how it was hard to process all that happened last night. She told me that I needed to just let it seep deeply into my soul–to receive all the beautiful things people said to me. “We know you’re not perfect, but everything last night was a testimony to the empowerment of the Holy Spirit. Just receive it and really let it fill up your soul.”

A few of my friends also broke the rules, rebellious women that they are, and brought cards and gifts. I have a dozen gorgeous roses in my livingroom and some new books, scented lotions, cash and gift cards. Whew! I’m using the gift card to buy my own copy of Cindy Martinusen’s Salt Garden because I’ve wanted to re-read it slowly with a high lighter.

Here’s how my night ended last night. The last guest left around mid-night and I piddled for an hour or so cleaning the kitchen, etc. When I finally slipped into my gown and crept into my bathroom, I found another present with an amazing card! Isn’t that cool?

Here’s how tonight ended. My four year old nephew showed up with a birthday present. Evidently, he’d seen it in a store and carried it around because he thought it would be a perfect present for me. (This was weeks ago, before he even knew my birthday was nearing.) His dad didn’t know he’d picked it out for me and told him to put it back. He cried because it was for “Auntie Paula” and, once my brother-in-law understood, they bought it and saved it for my birthday. Here’s the really weird part. My little nephew had picked out a journal for me! It was my favorite colors and everything. How does he even know that journaling is a huge part of who I am?? I was blown away.

One of the mixer questions at my party was to tell about a memorable birthday. I’ve had lots of good birthday parties. My mom was really good at that when I was little. I said my favorites were when my mom threw a party in our barn for my sixteen birthday, when my sister-in-law threw a “leaving the roaring 20’s” party when I turned thirty, and now I have to add my “Over the Rainbow” 40th birthday celebration.

Sometimes life is hard and you wonder how you’re gonna make it. Other times, it is a taste of heaven. Thank you, Father, for a glimpse of how it can be.